Tips for Fadeproofing yourself

How to become fadeproof – finding confidence in your personal style.

I talked to Mikala Grosse on the Work Wife Wine Time podcast about what to do if you feel like you’re fading in mid-life.

I’ve summarised the tips I discuss in the Work Wife Wine Time podcast episode#84.

Here’s a checklist of ways you can show up as the best You possible, without feeling like a try-hard or a imposter.

What does it mean to be fadeproof?

Great question. I hear from smart people who tell me they’re worried they’re fading or becoming invisible in midlife.

Oh no, fading is the worst feeling.

What do you do if you’ve got amazing skills and experience but your colouring is changing and your body is changing? Or you identify with a gender or group that’s typically overlooked in general and even more so in midlife? Or you’re a nerdy* introvert and you’ve never been comfortable putting yourself out there and it’s really really annoying watching other less-qualified but smooth-talking, slick-dressing people get opportunities you’re missing?

For whatever reason, it’s easy to feel like you’re fading or becoming invisible and it’s not necessary. In my opinion, if you do fade into the background, you’re not being seen or heard, which means we collectively miss out on all the things they know and can do.

To be fadeproof is to look current. Not trendy, but definitely of this current time. If you look current, people are more likely to assume your skills, outlook and ideas are also current and they/you have currency.

* I count myself as a huge nerd. I’m also a bit of a dork. My definition of nerds: interesting people with interests.

“Being fadeproof means showing up and looking like someone worth listening to. Someone current. Someone who respects themself.”

How can you fadeproof yourself?

Describe your style

Method 1: pick some words to describe your style

Wordy people find it helpful to have a style phrase to guide their outfit choices.

What do I mean? Think about either the way you want people to perceive you, or the way you want to feel and choose 3–5 words that describe this. Here’s a list of 100 style words to get you started.

Maybe you want people to see you and get the vibe that you’re positive, intellectual and minimalist.

Or you want to feel polished, confident and harmonious.

My words are ‘creative professional.’

When you’re getting dressed for any occasion, you can think, ‘what would someone who fits this description choose to wear?’ For ideas, try Pinterest – type in your style words followed by the word ‘style’.

Method 2: copy the vibe of someone whose style you admire

Choose someone you know, or a celebrity, whose style you admire – then, when you’re getting dressed or choosing clothes, think, ‘What would <person’s name> wear?’.

Look at them closely and work out what they’re doing that gives them a specific sense of style.

If it’s a celebrity, go into Pinterest and put their name in, followed by the word ‘style’ and see what comes up.

How about someone like Dianne Keaton? Here’s what my Pinterest search for ‘Dianne Keaton showed:

She definitely has a look. What are words you might use to describe her look?

She repeats elements: she wears hats, dark rimmed glasses, long layers, wide belts, comfy boots, tailored or classic shirts. She also wears lots of neutrals – not much colour at all.

Figure out if your colouring is warm or cool

I go into this in more detail with clients, but I reckon the following is a fair way to figure out if your colouring is more cool or more warm. Knowing your warm/coolness means you can tell hairdressers or people in shops your theory and they can help you find things that might work. It also helps a bit when choosing makeup that’s classified as cool or warm. People might argue with you or use different classifications, but hey, this is a start.

Either at home or in a shop, take photos of the following colours held up close to your face, then, ignoring whether you personally like the colours, look at how they affect your skin tone:

Olive/khaki or mustard/browny yellow or coral/peach –if these warm colours make you look sallow, red or blotchy, your skin is probably more cool toned. If they make your skin look smooth and bright, that’s probably because your skin shares their warm tones and you, too, are warm.

Barbie pink – if this cool, blue-toned pink colour makes your cheeks look blotchy or red or gives you dark under-eye circles, I’d say you were warm. If it looks OK or seems to make your skin look smoother or even delightful, you’re cool.

Taking photos in good lighting definitely helps when it comes to comparing these colours – you can often see things more clearly in photos. Or show friends and ask their opinion.

You can always get a professional to analyse your colours online or in person. I can vouch for Imogen Lamport from Bespoke Image if you want that done. I do it as part of a more comprehensive personal branding exercise. (I hate the term ‘personal branding’ – it sounds like something horrifyingly burny you do to identify cows.)