How to de-schlump yourself
A client just told me she was feeling really schlumpy and thought she needed to overhaul her whole wardrobe.
Even though I love a wardrobe overhaul like nobody’s business, I told her she didn’t need an overhaul. Together we focussed on just one piece of clothing to help her do some detective work about what she can change to feel better in her clothes.
The de-schlumping process
Here’s my process of deschlumpification – reset your style by thinking about what you want and need.
Pick one item of clothing you often put on, but which makes you feel sloppy or flat. You’ll know which one it is because whenever you wear it out of the house you feel uncomfortable and hope you don’t bump into anyone you know.
Work out why you love it. Write down what you like about this item: e.g. it’s soft, stretchy, a nice colour, makes you feel covered up, feels flowy and cool, feels snuggly and warm. These are the must-have qualities any replacement needs to have.
Work out why it doesn’t love you back. What is it about this item that sucks? Is it stained, stretched, pilled, missing buttons or otherwise needing mending? Is it too baggy, too tight, see-through or otherwise embarrassing?
Can you mend or fix this item? If it’s a matter of sewing on a button or mending a hole or scrubbing out a stain, then go ahead and fix the problem and keep wearing it. I’ve dyed things and changed sleeve or hem lengths to get a bit more wear out of them. But sometimes a garment makes you feel bad and nothing helps. In that case, it’s gotta go.
Find a replacement from your wardrobe that has all the positives and none of the negatives. Look at what you already own. Yep, include your ‘good’ clothes. Find something that meets all the essential qualities on your list – soft, flowy etc.
Put the new thing in the spot where the old thing used to live, so you’ll remember to grab and wear it. Now get rid of the old thing so you’re not tempted by its schlumpy siren call on days when you feel low.
I’m serious. You must get rid of it. Otherwise you’ll wear it again and feel terrible.
Cut it for rags, donate it (if there’s any chance anyone else would want it), or, if it has sentimental value, put it away in a box where you can’t easily get to it. I turned a bunch of favourite old t-shirts into a picnic rug. If you know you’ll never do this, thank it for its service and get rid of it properly.
If you absolutely don’t own anything that fits the bill, you’re allowed to go looking for a replacement. Visit an op shop, do a clothes swap with friends or go shopping. Use your list of essential qualities to help you find a new favourite throw-on piece of clothing.
An example of de-schlumping yourself without lots of effort or going shopping
For my client, her schlumpy favourite thing was a big t-shirt.
Liked: easy to grab, soft, made her feel covered up, hid her ‘bumps’.
Disliked: it made her feel like her formerly teenaged self, she didn’t like the colour, she felt sloppy and invisible in it.
A replacement tee needed these qualities: easy, soft, covered up, bump-hiding, a nice colour, more put-together.
I drew the sketches below to show the difference between her big, loose tee and one that fitted her body and ended at the right length. Now she knows what to look for in an easy, throw-and-go top that skims her body and makes her feel more put-together.
Did she have something like this in her wardrobe? Yes. It was a new top she’d bought last summer but which seemed too nice to wear.
Bonus, it was patterned, which makes all her outfits look better because patterns look more fancy.
Is it time you got rid of a piece of clothing that gets you down, and replaced it with something equally comfy that lights you up?
If you’re interested in learning to see your body more objectively, and being able to sketch on a body outline that matches yours like I did in the images above, you might like to read my post Stop looking at aliens and learn to see and dress your own body. There’s a link in there to software that lets you put in your body measurements and get a body outline.
You might also enjoy these posts:
How to become Fadeproof – an interview I did giving lots of tips and tricks to anyone who feels like they’re fading in midlife