Welcome to my project, Flirting. This is a writing/art project rather than an academic assessment of the subject.

I’ve been interviewing people for the past year on this subject. Want to join in and tell me what you think?


People often think I’m flirting, but I’m just Italian.


I initially started the interviews because it seems that we all have opinions about flirting. We might think we know how other people do it. Often, we’ve never thought deeply about what it is or isn’t. Some people think there’s a sleazy vibe about the word, though not everyone thinks it’s intrinsically sleazy.

Through the interviews I started finding themes about flirting – I’d be bold enough to call them rules.

Everyone I spoke to agreed that there is a time when flirting stops being flirting and becomes … something else. We discussed power and safety, we discussed fun and playful sharing, intent and coercion, seduction and non-sexual flirting. The conversations went in all directions.

I noticed that many the people who said they love flirting and do it a lot are also very good communicators. I wondered if other people can learn what they do.

Most people are fascinated to know how other people flirt, because it’s not something we usually talk openly about.

I’d love to know what you think.

Any information you provide here might be used in another form, for example if I expand this project I might share quotes, or if I write a book I might include your observations. By filling in this form, you’re agreeing to be OK with that. I won’t identify you in any way.


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pencils and coloured sketches on a table.
These are the results of the interviews I conducted at a recent event, where I recorded each interview live.